Gregor Cuzak

on marketing, business and philosophy

Tips and tricks on how to win a war


Here’s a sampling of ideas applicable to situations of war. The ideas are not presented in any menaningfully particular order, nor are they to be applied in real situations. As expected here’s to peace, and love 🙂

1. If in war, find your enemy. Probably one of the stupidest positions in which a warrior can find himself in is the position of not knowing who your enemy is.

2. Count your forces. It is stupid to think you are like Tito on Neretva or Sutjeska, fighting 1 partisan versus 7 germans and thinking that you will win. Truly, defence is easier than attack. When attacking, make sure you have 3:1 advantage in number of units.

3. Use spies. But use them in such a way that you don’t get caught redhanded. Counterspying in war is a particularly nasty affair.

4. Wear pantyhose. Ah, no, that’s from a different T&T manual. Sorry here.

5. Tanks are useless unless supported by infantry.

6. Don’t try to control everything in a battle. Be smart. Think ahead. Make predictions. Blend in with the logic of your enemies.

7. Surprise. Do the irrational, or at least seemingly irrational move.

8. Momentum, momentum, momentum. Need I explain this point at all?

9. Make time your ally. Be patient. Let enemies think you’re not in control when they take their action. In every action, there’s time for reaction, just time it properly. Hitting the right time has a lot to do with momentum.

10. Study the terrain. Investigate it. Make your own map and have it imprinted directly onto your prefrontal cortex. Your terrain is the stage of your success or your demise, depending on how you use it.

Now go and have icecream. Forget about all of the above. You’ll never need it in your lifetime, right? Right? Chocolate and blueberry. Two scoops is enough. More could hurt your throat, and even more would make you even fatter.

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